|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| Over the weekend, the three people that I went to Gamagori with told me that I talked so much that it was preventing them from being in the conversation as much as they would like. Surprised at this disclosure, I polled long-time friends about this because this is something I would like to fix if true.
However, directly asking "Do I talk too much?" is not is best way to get the accurate answer from a friendly audience, so I changed the question to "Who talks more during our conversations? You? Me? Or we talk about the same?" Sounds like a clever way to find out what I want to know.
I asked no less than 10 friends - and all of them said that we talk about the same. But by questioning them in more detail, I realized that everyone thinks that I am skilled at preventing a conversation from going stale. In other words, I can keep a conversation going if the situation needed it. It is a good thing to them, but winning formulas don't work in every situation.
Some people (especially my Taiwanese friends) feel like any silence is awkward silence. And in that case, I am a very comfortable chat partner to have because they know I can keep a conversation going. On the other hand, for people who enjoy having some silence sprinkled in a conversation, I am probably quite annoying because I prevent silence time from occurring.
It just so happens that my good friends and I chat at the same speed and have many things to say to each other, so there is never really a chance for dead silence. From now on, I have to remind myself that different people prefer different chat paces. This is especially true when my chat partner does not speak my native languages at the native level. So even if they had alot to say, they need more time to process the thoughts before speaking.
My takeaway is that I need to put more effort into understanding the individual pace of my chat partners and adjust myself accordingly in order to create the best chat atmosphere. ^_^
| | |
| I have never had anyone literally run away from me before. Not until tonight, that is. My mouth hung open in disbelief as I saw that unfold before my very eyes. It was surreal. I could not believe it was actually happening.
The friend who has monopolized my thoughts this past week met me at 8:30 in the evening for a walk. I was looking forward to riding the positive momentum from last night to have another positive conversation. However, it would only be less than 30 minutes before my friend would run off in panic and horror.
The conversation got off poorly and worsened quickly. Perhaps fighting a cold caused my friend to show up with an irritable attitude. Either that or the accumulation of things had finally boiled over. For the first time ever, the warm smile that my friend always had was not there from the beginning. To make matters worse, I was exhausted from several days of bad sleep and thus my EQ was not at its highest. In retrospect, it was a bad situation waiting to happen.
Fast-forword to the boiling point. Sadly, my friend mistook my recent earnestness for being pushy and needy Thus, clearly annoyed by me, she expressed her frustrations. Feeling very wronged by this, I raised my voice and angrily expressed that I felt insulted by the suggestion that I was excessively craving affection and attention. I am trying hard to make the most of my time in Okazaki to strengthen our friendship.
My ourburst visabily jolted my friend. As my friend ran back to the car and raced off, I stood there, unsuccessfully trying to process what had just happened. Very sadly, our friendship is not nearly as strong as I thought it was. The shock has not worn off yet. In a few days, I hope I will be able to process this episode more subjectively. I cannot believe this actually happened. May God grant me more wisdom.
| | |
| I went to church today and prayed alot. I prayed especially for wisdom in order to communicate clearly what I needed to say when I have a one-on-one talk with my friend to work out what seems to be a misunderstanding. I hope to have a very complete conversation and equally hope to hear my friend's side of the story.
Well, one sign of true friendship is that the friendship ends up stronger after a disagreement. The friend and I talked honestly about what happened, and that in-turn opened the door for some really meaningful communication that we've never had before.
The conversation ended on a very positive note, making both of us feel better about our friendship than ever before. I am glad we can put what happened on Wednesday behind us.
I remember the last time I had a big disagreement with someone in my social circle. That was about two years ago when somebody ran their mouth about the golf lessons I was helping teach. That person was only an acquaintance, yet I was bothered by the tension for several weeks! I care about my friends and place alot of importance on peace and harmony with each other. ^_^
| | |
| A friend of mine and I didn't see eye-to-eye tonight, and I was really disappointed with our communication. I think friends have to be honest with each other because it is easy to recognize insincere communication.
Tonight, I was looking forward to spending some time together, but instead I was told at the last minute that a meeting cannot take place because of a car issue. That is absolutely no problem since we do not live far away from each other. However, my friend rejected my offer to have me go over there. Therefore, even though the car trouble was true, it was not the real reason that we are not meeting tonight.
I met this friend in April this year, and we've become good friends since. However, what happened tonight certainly set us back a lot. I don't understand why a true friend cannot just say, "Hey meeting tonight is not a good idea for me because the reason is..." Why are some people so afraid to speak the truth? Because the excuse was so fake, I felt my friend didn't respect my intelligence. So I ended up upset instead of simply disappointed.
In other words, my friend ended up making things worse by using an excuse instead of telling the truth, but I hope something positive will come out of this.
| | |
| I think 20 photos per day was just not enough to fully convey how cool the trip was. So how about a few more? ^_^
Please use the link below to access the bonus Nagano album on my Facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2083648&id=44406519&l=40513fa14d
| | |
|
